转载： 面對壓力 (希望每個人都能看看這篇文章)

An airticles on how to deal with pressure. Although taking care of 2 kids is not the same as dealing with pressure in the office but still, the pressure is not much different in some way :)

～～转载：～～

看人看優點，對事不對人。

有一天，四十歲出頭的女強人苦惱無助地出現在心理醫生面前：『我不喜歡我的工作， 對同仁沒耐性，我也不關心他們， 我對我的工作感覺沒什麼意義，我每天都覺得很沮喪，早上爬不起來，晚上睡不著，還會無緣無故的掉眼淚。我想把工作辭掉，而且我也不缺錢。』心理醫師問：「你不工作，那你準備做什麼？」「我只是不想做了！」這位女主管回答。 心理醫師聽完她的情況，立刻勸她打消辭職的念頭。 『你不能這麼做。你如果把工作辭掉，你就會馬上成了一個專職的鬱症患者。你一定是遭遇到某些問題，你必須去緩解這些問題，而不是把工作辭掉。』 心理醫生勸她。當時，這位心緒煩亂的女主管正計劃把工作辭掉，準備到偏僻的鄉下買一棟房子，一 個人住在那裡。心理醫師一聽，「那就更危險了！因為你會更寂寞、更難過。

我希望您先就自己的環境調適一下。」這位及時為女主管踩煞車的諮商師，就是著名的作家鄭石岩。從事了二十幾年的心理諮商，鄭石岩教授發現，最近幾年，台灣憂愁、煩惱的人口正不斷在增加。從流行文化裡，更可以感受到這種煩惱的情緒，無處不在。歌星周華健唱著中年男人的煩惱，從「鈔票愈來愈難賺、孩子愈來愈胖....到威而剛的藍色小藥丸」都讓中年男子煩啊！而原本應該「少年不識愁滋味」的新新人類，隨著社會的複雜多元，情緒的困境四處蔓延。歌手林曉培一曲《煩》，直率大聲地喊著：「煩啊！煩啊！煩得不能呼吸」彷彿是這一代年輕人的心聲。

煩惱為何而起？憂愁為何而起？煩惱為何而生？現代人為何把焦慮變成一種思考的習慣？振興醫院精神科醫師毛衛中形容，現代人每天都生活在被恐嚇之中。他指出電視廣告每天都在警告：「你長得太胖了！」「你在床上的表現還不夠好！」「你吃的油裡頭膽固醇太多了！」「你喝的水中有很多細菌」搞得每個人都緊張兮兮。與過去的壓力來源比起來，現代人焦慮的常常是一種無形、抽象的，甚至是想像出的危險。

我們的身體對這些無形的壓力做出反應，肌肉緊張、血壓升高、心跳加速，腎上腺分泌增加，這些反應可以讓人跑得更快、跳得更高，在過去可以幫助人類逃離野獸、災難，然後我們的身體就可以回復正常的狀態。但是到了現代，這種身體反應並不能增加我們解決壓力的能力。 肌肉緊張並不能增加我們付帳單的能力；心跳加速也不能化解我們跟主管的衝突。所以我們的身體一直處在應付壓力的狀態，但是壓力卻不能解除，身體就無法恢復常態。

【 如何解決現代焦慮？】要解決現代人的煩惱、焦慮，需要改變我們面對壓力的方式。

1 、認識壓力公式 鄭石岩教授在多年的諮商經驗中發現，人的壓力，可以用一個公式～～ 表現，壓力＝負載╱自我能力。 負載等於是卡車上所載的東西，自我功能就好像這部卡車的承載能力。如果上面負載的東西並沒有增加，可是你現在很難過，這就表示有幾個可能，一是你的自我功能減弱 了，一是你在上面加了太多別的東西、太多垃圾。例如，在辦公室跟同事處不好，回家後跟家人處不好，這些壓力、這些情緒，全都加到工作上去，就變成垃圾負載。這些衝突、情緒，其實跟你的工作並沒有關係，但都全部被加到你的工作裡面去。

2 、減輕垃圾負載 對於這些人來講，鄭石岩教授並不主張馬上把他們原來的主題負載減少，要減少的是他們的垃圾負載。根據這個壓力公式來分析，鄭石岩教授為那位女主管開了三個處方： 第一個處方是運動。因為運動可以刺激腦下垂體分泌腦內啡，使人的心情變好。第二個處方是儘量表現出開心的樣子。鄭石岩告訴那位女主管每天進辦公室前，就深深吸一口氣，裝一裝，假裝高興，感覺自己的胸口鬆開，把眉毛揚一揚，很高興，振作起來，再走進辦公室，並且要記得跟人 打招呼。 鄭石岩解釋，一旦你經常這樣作，行為影響情緒，人真得會變得比較快樂。第三樣處方是笑。因為笑的時候可以產生內臟按摩。而且笑的時候通常都會深呼吸，也會刺激身體產生令人舒服、愉快的分泌物。幾個星期下來，這位女主管真的有很好的轉變，她保持運動，心情也變好了，也不再有辭職的念頭了。

〔化解壓力 20招〕

◆早起 15分鐘→讓自己有更充裕的時間面對早晨的壓力。

◆改善外表→使自己看起來更美，心情也會更開朗。

◆把家裡或工作的環境整理一番→如此才能免去找不到東西的困擾。

◆家電、器具損壞馬上修理或換新→不要任由一些生活不便之處破壞您的情緒。

◆和樂天派的人做朋友→杞人憂天型的人物，讓您養成擔憂的習慣。

◆凡事事先計劃→別等到用完最後一滴油才趕著去加油。

◆做事一件一件來→尚未完成眼前的工作時，別去想下一個任務。

◆討厭的工作儘早做完→免得令你心煩。

◆要懂得變通→有些事情不值得力求完美；有些事情必須妥協、折衷。

◆把問題說出來和朋友討論→別悶在心裡。

◆每天做一、兩件你最喜歡的事情→愉悅心情。

◆每天留給自己片刻寧靜→一方面休息，一方面整理思緒。

◆不能依賴「記憶」→重要的約會、工作應該用筆記下來，才不會耽誤。

◆當你感到愈來愈緊張時→試著放鬆肌肉，做幾個深呼吸。

◆懂得拒絕→學會對你沒時間或沒興趣參與的工作或活動說「不」。

◆碰到必須大排長龍的情形，不要感到不耐煩。→因為這就是人生，何不一笑置之，安之泰如。 如果預期必須等候一段時間，應該帶本雜誌去打發時間。

◆避開吵雜→感到四周聲音過於嘈雜時，可戴上耳塞。

◆洗個熱水澡鬆弛情緒→夏季可改採冷水浴。

◆就寢前，先將第二天的生活做一計劃→包括進餐、衣著。

◆睡眠要充足→缺乏睡眠會使人變得焦慮、易怒。

人本關懷‧成長共享！擁有健康才能擁有一切！
愛人就先讓自己健康喔！

每封信都代表一份緣的傳遞 ........
看信是一種幸福、它代表你有空閒 .....
沒空看信也是一種幸福
它代表你有比看信更重要的事忙著 ....

學習把每一件事都做到完善，
學習對每一個機會都充滿感激，
相信，我們就是自己最重要的貴人。

My Active Baby #2

Have you seen a pregnancy belly shaped like this before?

My Pregnancy Belly with Baby #2. ^ ^ Left: Baby in action! ^ ^ Right: The party is over ...
Yup …. That’s how active baby #2 is and I quickly asked Angel to grab my camera and actually manage to capture that precious moment of baby #2 doing don’t-know-what inside my poor tummy! Ouch!!! ^_^

Baby #2 is especially active after midnights and when I told doctor about it, she told me that baby #2 will most likely be following ‘that routine’ at least for the first few months after birth too i.e. sleep in the morning and stay awake and active after midnights. Oh dear ….. I certainly are not well prepared for that ..... yet!

Angel is a very nice & quite baby while she was in my tummy but look at how active she is now :) I certainly heard a lot of ‘good things’ about how ‘active’ and challenging a Gemini baby would be and hopefully, I can handle not just 1 crying baby, but 1 crying baby +1 active toddler at the same time without screaming my head off or calling for 911. *praying*

4 more days to go and counting down still .......... ^_^

She Understands .... After All

Angel is growing up fast and well. At the age of 2, she starts to understand and take simple instructions. She is considered a bit slow in terms of speech but now that she is 3, I can see improvements in that area and she has been able to express herself better and communicate, sometimes even fights back when we said something she doesn’t agree of. Sometimes, I would forget that she is no more a small baby who will take all instructions and comments without any objections :P.

We used speak English at home and sometimes in Mandarin but somehow, she prefers (seems to understands) English better. Whenever we talk to her in Mandarin, most of the time she would response with

“What?? What?? What Mommy??” …………….. until we switch back to English.

So I have assumed that she doesn’t understand much of our Mandarin. So one day, I was complaining to my mom (in mandarin) while she was lying on the floor beside us doing her own stuffs.

Me: “Angel 近来真的很坏蛋哦！出街又不爱牵手，真的，下次要少点带她出去了 。。。。*bla bla bla*”
Me: Angel is getting very mischievous lately. She doesn’t want to hold our hands at all whenever we went shopping and I think we should bring her out lesser ….. *bla bla bla*

My Mom: “是咯，越大越顽皮，又不听讲！那天还冲出马路去，叫都不听！ 真的危险，该打！越来越不像话了 。。。。”
My Mom: Agreed! The older she is the more mischief she gets, not listening to us at all! That day, she even zoom towards the road out of a sudden disregard how I call her back and that’s really dangerous! She really needs a good smack …….

Suddenly we heard a loud and angry voice,

“HEY~~~~!!!! You CANNOT ! You CANNOT 打Angel ~~!!! Angel ANGRY !!!”

And we saw Angel standing up in front of us looking very angry with a pointed mouth, crossing both hands in front of her chest!

A bit surprised, I asked her in Mandarin:
“你听得明白Mommy在讲什么meh??? ”
(You understand what mommy is saying???)

“YES~~ !!!!!”

She response with an angry voice looking at the opposite direction.

Hahahahahahaha, now I know that she actually understands what we were saying and also paying attention to what we adults were chatting all the time when we thought she weren't. So my mom said next time we have to switched to Malay if we don’t want her to know that we are complaining about her :P :P

6 More Days To Go …..

……. and I still can’t believe it's here so soon !!!!!!!!

Finally I am back to Malaysia and getting everything prepared to welcome our little precious #2 into our family. In less the 6 days will be ‘THE BIG DAY’ for baby #2 already (Yeah ….. I know, can’t believe that it will be soooooo soon!!!) and it has been such a wonderful pregnancy journey so far. Actually my 2nd pregnancy experience is not much different from Angel’s time (if not worst). The horrible and terrible morning sickness, heartburn for a full 5 months and also, my health turning down hill since the day I conceived + all the pregnancy blues & mood swings, etc ….. however with Angel’s lovely smile surrounding me every single day and hubby’s understanding + constant shower me with all his tender loving care (he actually cooks + do all cleanings + ironing for the first few months *sweet* ^_^ ) and my mom’s great help in taking over Angel for a couple of months at the later stage of my pregnancy, etc ….. all these helping hands somehow makes things become more easy to bear and everything seems to pass by so quickly and smoothly.

So far, things has been rough during the 1st trimesters but thanks to my pregnancy brains not functioning properly, things which I still remembered mostly was the happy times which I had with our family of 3+1 spending together and going for baby #2’s monthly pre-natal check-ups, watching the little person doing all sort of funny moves in the tiny ultrasound screens, etc. Baby #2 is so much active then Angel’s time until at one point, I asked my obstetrician “Is too active considered a problem?????” which the obstetrician had a good laugh :P There is not much of baby #2 ultrasound picture taken due to baby is ever moving until the doctor has to tell her, “Calm down baby!! Calm down!!” each and everytime :)

With this pregnancy, I was also put on the high risk list of Pre-Gestational Diabetes (I have a border line results) and also baby #2 is found to be 2 weeks in advance in terms of size in the early stage. Hence as directed by the obstetrician, I really controlled what I ate and drink throughout this pregnancy in order to avoid the need of the insulin injection everyday. I have to poke my fingers 5 times per day (since my 24 weeks untill now) to monitor the level of my blood sugar after each and every meal and that is really something hard to forget ever!! *Oh …. My poor fingers* With Angel, I have gained a hefty 25 - 30 kg but with #2, I only gained 4 - 5kg so far (I started off very overweight also-lah FYI :P) and I am glad that with a healthy eating plan + increased my level of activities *thanks to hubby who drag me out of the house almost every few days*, baby #2 seems to grow well and healthily day by day without any medical intervention :)


I aslo get all sorts of different comments about my belly in this pregnancy. For example, some didn’t even noticed that I was pregnant when I was actually 6 months along the way (boarding flights without being noticed or need to fill up any forms) but on the other hand, I also got few strangers commented that my tummy look extremely huge for a 6th month belly and asked whether it’s twins *>’’<*. When I am back here in Malaysia, some would said that my tummy looks small for a 37th weeks pregger but some said it’s huge. *grin* So I really don’t know whether it’s small or large but doctor told me baby #2 is growth is right on track, not too big or too small which is great :) I even get to enjoy a great ‘babymoon’ during my 2nd trimesters after getting the green lights from my obstetrician ……. visiting LiJiang - travelling up a 4506m above sea level YuLong Snow Mountain (and we actually brought oxygen with us!) and also, been to JiuZhaiGou - jungle tracking and walking a few KM with my 6 months pregnant huge belly …… although I did get some strange looks from a lot of local travelers on and off (they must be wondering what a heavily pregnant woman doing here, walking and jungle tracking + stairs climbing in the jungle and such cold weather, etc) but I actually feels better physically and mentally after all the ‘exercises’ and the fresh air away from the polluted Shanghai City. Hubby is so nice to actually let me tag along for all his trips to Nanjing, ChongQing and ChengDu and therefore, I feels like I am actually having the greatest holiday in my life and forgot all about my aching back bone or sore feet after exploring all these places which I never had a change to visit before.

Baby #2 is also a very special baby :) This little person is very responsive (which is totally different from Angel) and whenever hubby is talking near my tummy, Baby #2 would actually response to hubby’s call and never fails to give hubby and me some ‘hint’ that baby is actually listening to us. Watching baby #2 doing all sorts of somersaults inside my belly is hubby’s favourite pass time too. This never happens in Angel’s time as Angel would totally ignore us when she was still inside my tummy. Baby #2 also loves milk as compare to Angel’s time where Angel only loves Milo and would only move during her milo time. Baby #2 will move non stop whenever I saw food on the table or every 3 hours after meal signaling me it’s time to Eat! Eat! Eat! (I actually ate minimum 5 meals per day) I began to love the feeling of baby #2 sleeping cosily inside my tummy as this little person hasn’t really bring much problems to me in terms of walking / moving around up to this point *happy*. When I was pregnant with Angel, I could hardly walk at all since I hit my 3rd trimesters and have to be confined at home most of the time. With Baby #2, I can still go shopping all day long and driving all day long all by myself without much problems which really makes my pregnancy journey much more enjoyable :)

I can’t believe that with just a blink of an eye, it’s only less then 6 DAYS away from ‘THE BIG DAY’ that I would actually get to meet baby #2 in person and hold this tiny little person in my arms for the very first time ^_^ Although I will be more then happy if baby #2 decided to hold on pass the EDD but guess that it’s never going to happen this time for this is my 2nd c-section and My Obstetrician advised to actually have the operation half month earlier. So I guess baby #2 would meet us earlier on her 38th gestational week instead?

Oh dear, I think I have started to miss my pregnancy journey and baby #2 staying inside my huge huge tummy already even before baby is born ……. I really never get bored or tired in this pregnancy for some reason ^_^ But anyway, kind of ‘gan cheong’ heading towards the day I get to meet baby #2 and kissed this little precious for the very first time ^_^ I must admit that I am very scared about the operation too at the same time *_*III

Wish me luck ^_^

Angel is 3!!

Wow ..... Such a long time I didn’t update my blog here. It’s mainly due to China is still blocking blogger and facebook which makes updates almost impossible and another reason is, as some of you might already knew …… yes! I “hit jackpot” again since the day I landed my foot in Shanghai :P

A blurry line but it’s there!!

******************

And guess what, Angel finally turns 3 few days ago!!!! OMG ...... time really flies! We didn’t celebrate Angel’s birthday on the actual day but instead, we did it earlier due to daddy’s busy working schedule with close family members and a few great friends who happen to join us on that day :) The special thing about Angel’s birthday this year is that she is finally decided to choose her own birthday cake!! Lately she is so into Hello Kitty (like mother like daughter) and purposely told mommy that she wants a Hello Kitty cake for her 3rd birthday! As it was such a rush hunting for cakes and other stuffs, finally mommy managed to find a cute picture of the Hello Kitty and asked the bakery to print it on the cake *phew, wipe sweat*

We celebrated her birthday in a restaurant and when the waiter finally took out Angel’s cake after our dinner, Angel was very excited to see her cake and asked whether it was hers! And when she look closer and saw the Hello Kitty print on top of her cake, she actually squeal in delights with a big grin + surprises on her face saying, “OH ~~ HELLO KITTY ~~!!! HELLO KITTY CAKE ~~!!! HELLO KITTY CAKE ~~!!!” bouncing up and down on the sofa and I tell you, I have never seen my little girl acting so happy and surprised ever!! *I certainly will not forget those happy looks on her little face and lights in her eyes that night ^_^ * That moment, I honestly thought that everything from hunting for her cakes, booking a decent restaurant and other stuffs for the past few days with a huge tummy + morning sickness *yup, still is* pays off instantly!!

When the candle was lid and all of us (such a big gang) sang her the Happy Birthday song, she looks extremely surprised and overwhelmed until she hide behind mommy’s back, peeping at us with her shy but extremely happy smiling look face watching all of us wishing her a Happy Birthday! Mommy and Daddy have to pulled her out from hiding, she happily cut the cake and blow out the candle one by one and I can see that she was extremely thrilled :)

She gets to enjoy 1 huge piece of her Chocolate Bananas birthday cakes for the very first time and thank God that no allergy reaction from her taking in all the diaries this round. After the celebration and until she gets home, I can still feel the excitement in her while she keeps telling everyone, “Angel 的 Hello Kitty Cake!!”

She was happily present with a few ang pows for her birthday but when she sees us holding the nicely wrapped gifts, she quickly handed all the ang pow to mommy and reaching out for those gift boxes instead!!! She loves all the gifts that she received that day especially the little Crayola Magnetic Drawing Desk from Daddy which she has chosen herself from Toys ‘R Us few days ago. Later that night before she went to sleep, she refuses to take off her party hat and even asked us to have another birthday celebration for her again saying, “Tomorrow Angel’s birthday again ok? Angel’s Hello Kitty Cake ok? Tomorrow blow candle again ok?” and finally goes to bed with a big smile on the face still ....

Sweet dreams my Little Angel and Happy 3rd birthday from Daddy and Mommy! We will always loves you and remember such a great birthday night at your 3rd birthday ..... Happy Birthday my sweetheart ~~ Everything was so wonderful for all of us ^_^.

p/s: And thanks to all lovely mommies who sent those sweet birthday gifts to Angel .... you guys are so thoughtful and sweet ^_^ I am really touched and Thank You so much ......